So Many Questions
by rorynjess4ever
Summary: Rory's thoughts during and after Jess comes to her dorm.


**A/N 1.** First time writer. This idea just came to me. Leave comments, good, bad. Just don't be too harsh.

**A/N 2.** Before and after the flashback are all Rory's thoughts. In the flashback her thoughts are in italics.

**Rating:** PG? I'm guessing.

**Disclaimer:** No. Not mine. Not ever. The quotes inside the flashback belong to ASP. Not me.

**Summary:** Rory's thoughts during and after Jess comes to her dorm.

**So Many Questions.**

The night was becoming a blur. The horrible date with Graham finally ended as he left, and Dean and I finished almost the biggest meal we've ever eaten. Well, the biggest meal he's ever eaten tonight didn't beat me and mom's Food Fest of '98, but that doesn't matter, because what we did eat, was all on Graham's tab.

And Dean. Sweet, safe, Dean. He was my hero tonight, rescuing the princess from her horrible date with the ogre. But then there's Lindsey, I don't know about her. She's so bad for him, taking school away from him, just so she can have what she wants. He deserves someone better. Someone like, me? No. That's crazy Dean and I broke up a long time ago. So much has happened since then, so much, Jess.

Oh Jess, funny how my mind was just on Dean, yet thought's of Jess flood my mind and suddenly it's 'Dean? Dean who?' in less than a second. But I don't want to think about Jess. Not after tonight. No! He's gone! I told him to go, it would never work. It could never work. Could it?

FLASHBACK TO EARLIER THAT NIGHT:

"Come with me." _Woah. What?_

"What?"

"Come with me." _He can't be serious? Can he?_

"Where?"

"I don't know...away!" _Way to be specific Jess!_

"Are you crazy?" _He's gotta be...or maybe he's just him. Who is him? Do I even know him anymore?_

"Probably. Do it. Come with me. Don't think about it." _Don't think about it? Don't think about? How is that possible? It's me here, the list-maker, the 'think things through a million times before pursuing girl'! Doesn't he remember?_

"I can't do that." _No. There's no way!_

"You don't think you can do it but you can. You can do whatever you want." _No I can't! God Jess!_

"It's not what I want." _It isn't?!. No. It isn't!_

"It is. I know you."

"You don't know me!" _He doesn't! Not after all this time. He can't know me. Can he?_

"Look, we'll go to New York. We'll work, we'll live together, we'll be together. It's what I want. It's what you want, too."

"No!" _No? This is Jess. Your Jess. The Jess you loved not long ago. Loved? Love? Ugh..what is he doing to me!??_

"I want to be with you, but not here. Not this place, not Stars Hollow. We have to start new."

"There's nothing to start!" _Am I sure? Of course not. The thought of us "starting new" has crossed my mind several times, but he can't know that! I'm over him. I am._

"You're packed. Your stuff is all in boxes. It's perfect. You're ready. And I'm ready. I'm ready for this. You can count on me now. I know you couldn't count on me before, but you can now. You can." _I can?_

"No!" _There's that word again. Why do I keep saying it? I can't mean it, if I meant it I wouldn't be questioning myself in my head. Right? Wrong? Ugh._

"Look, you know we're supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you two years ago, and you know it, too. I know you do."

"No, no, no, no, no!" _Stop! Stop! I'm not even listening to him! But he can't say those things! They're too not Jess. This isn't him talking...it's too late. We're over. We are? Of course we are!_

"Don't say "no" just to make me stop talking or make me go away. Only say "no" if you really don't want to be with me."

"No!" _No? No. No? Ugh..god Mariano!_

END FLASHBACK:

Oh God. No? What was I thinking? I'm insane. I love him! He loves me! He wants to be with me. He just admitted it an hour ago! Why couldn't I see that he was serious! He meant it. I can count on him now. _I can? I can._ I gotta keep reassuring myself that. He'll be there for me this time. He won't leave. _I won't let him_, I say to myself as I grab my coat.

**END.**

**A/N 3.** So, it probably sucked. But it was fun. I may have no future in writing, but it was fun. So critique me, give me some sort of feedback. Should I keep writing or delete this into the crazy cyberspace that is the internet? Let me know.


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